Country roads, when it rains, can become muddy, impassable traps, especially for those who, driving an SUV*** – strictly front-wheel drive – trust that they can overcome (almost) any obstacle because their car looks like an off-roader.
It looks like an off-roader.
Between September and October 2023, at least 13 cars were stuck at the spot depicted in these photos. It is located along the Cassia Vecchia, 5 km from San Quirico d’Orcia, at the entrance to a path leading to a ridge from which there is a fantastic view of Mount Amiata on one side and the Val d’Arbia on the other. The path shows clear tyre marks (as seen in the first photo), most likely left by the eternal, indestructible and unstoppable Panda 4x4s of local people. The old-fashioned Panda 4×4, the one that looks like a shoebox, knows no obstacles and only stops when it runs out of petrol.
In short, there is this clearing, halfway between the asphalt of the Cassia and the grass of the fields: when it hasn’t rained for a while it is as dry as an old cheese crust, but it gets muddy when some water has come down in the last few hours.
Now, the clearing may be muddy, but it is honest: it says clearly that anyone who tries to drive through it gets stuck in it. The furrows (highlighted in the red boxes in the lower photo) up to 25 centimetres deep have been dug by the tyres in a fury of hard pounding, which only achieves the sole purpose of making the car sink even deeper.
Here’s how it works: the driver spots the gorgeous trail, sees the tracks left by the Panda 4x4s’ tyres, and thinks they can reach the panoramic ridge by making a dent in the muddy clearing, thanks to their SUV*** (strictly front-wheel drive).
The driver approaches more or less cautiously, dips the front wheels into the silt and feels them lose grip. So what does the driver usually do? Accelerates, of course. Vruuum!
Every time the driver accelerates, the front wheels plunge half an inch more into the mud.
Vruuuuum! Half an inch more in the mud.
Vruuuuuuummm! That’s it, keep going, just a little more and you won’t be able to move at all.
Vruuuuuuuuuuummmmm! Well done. Now the front wheels are in the mud for almost half their height and the car is stuck.
I tried to stop them, when I saw them pointing the nose of the car at the clearing and the soil was soaked with rain… I waved my arms like an aircraft carrier take-off man, I shouted, but nothing. I couldn’t save a single one (‘Yes, I saw you waving and shouting something, but I thought you were waving at me!’).
When they realise they are stuck, they get out of the car. They vainly look for wooden planks or pieces of plastic to put under the wheels to get some grip. You see them, amazed at how their SUV*** (front-wheel drive) has inexplicably betrayed them in just (!) 25 centimetres of mud.
At that point, the driver doesn’t know what to do. Maybe they are dressed up for a grand soiree because they are on their way to dinner at a fancy restaurant, and you see them hopping on their toes to avoid getting their shoes dirty. But the shoes are doomed, along with the trousers, the skirt, the stockings, the shirt…. You should see how they stand out, the red Louboutins in the squishy mud.
The more optimistic people take action: the passengers in the car start pushing forward (towards the panoramic ridge) or backwards, to get back on the Cassia road, while the driver accelerates with conviction, with a twofold result: the car sinks even more, and the people who push the car become a mask of mud.
Germans, Neapolitans, Florentines, Chinese, Dutch, Milanese, Bolognese… The muddy clearing makes no distinction: it blocks them all. In a couple of months, at least 13 cars from all sorts of countries got bogged down.
Usually, after a few unsuccessful attempts, except for making me learn expletives that I had previously ignored, in various dialects and languages, the driver gives up and calls road assistance.
Within minutes, the tow truck removes the car from the mud and the driver can get back on the road, having learnt an important lesson: when there is mud, don’t put the wheels in the furrows.
*** I have nothing against SUVs, and more than half of the cars that got stuck in the mud were city cars or sedans. I was simply impressed by a gentleman who, when I told him that it was useless – nay: counterproductive – to accelerate with the wheels already semi-submerged, burst out laughing saying “Look, this is an SUV, it was born for mud!” Obviously, his SUV (front-wheel drive) was pulled out some time later by the tow truck.
www.valdorciaskies.com 